I've recently become a church-goer. I may not go every week, but I go. I was baptized in March and have found a parish that I love, and try to frequent as much as I can. My reason for choosing a faith is personal, and you'd really have to walk a mile in my shoes or catch a long glimpse of my life to understand exactly why at this point in my life, I chose to add some religion to my world. Let's just say it has something to do with how blessed I've always been, as well as becoming a mother. There is someone greater looking out for me, and I felt it was time to start giving back a little.
When I do go to church, I find myself looking around at everyone with their heads bowed. I find myself wondering what they're praying for. A loved one in pain? A deceased child? A dear friend going through hard times? A daughter in Iraq? A son struggling with addiction? A grandchild with cancer? Or maybe they're just praying to pray, because I guess you don't necessarily have to pray for someone. You can just bow your head and talk to God about how lucky you feel to finally be so close to Him.
I do that, but I also like to pray for those who asked God "Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong?" and never get an answer. I pray for the neglected and abused children who did nothing wrong, yet are abused by cowards who direct their anger at defenseless, innocent little human beings. I pray for all of the homeless people in the world who need just a little bit of help getting on their feet, yet cannot seem to find one person who cares just enough. I pray for all of the abused animals who are still loyal to their attackers, because that's just how they are made. Our old dog Spike is the perfect example of this. So severely abused judging by all of the scars on his body, yet he came into our home and gave us nothing but love and security. I pray for all of these people, children, and animals who need a voice, but can't find one. Who need shelter, but can't find it. Who need one person to look at them and say "I love you" but have never heard it. Who need someone to pray for them, but no one has. I am praying for you.
I have lived a charmed life if I do say so myself, but it's so hard to look around sometimes at all the pain and sufferering in the world, and be grateful. Why me? Why am I so lucky? Why are some people chosen to suffer and to live their lives in total despair, while I sit in church and pray about it all?
I can only hope that with every single minute I spend sitting there, talking to God, that my thoughts are strong enough to reach just one person. One person who feels so alone. One child who continues to suffer at the hands of someone who is supposed to love him. One person willing to take the saddest of the shelter dogs home.
I hope that it's working. I hope that what I pray for, is working, one moment at a time. That's all I can do.
*this post follows yet another article on foxnews.com, in which a baby boy was beaten to death on the side of the road by a 27 year old man. I pray for that little boy*