I'm not sure if many of you know this, as I just became aware myself, that today is National Day of Remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. This includes all babies who have died because of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death.
I think I've mentioned this before, but we suffered from a miscarriage a couple of years ago. It was devastating to say the absolute least. I can't imagine a worse pain than losing a child, even one I had never met. It plays with ones emotions like no other and left a scar on my soul that I'll forever be wary of, especially when becoming pregnant again.
I know there are days when being a Mom makes me sigh continuously out of frustration and sends me to bed with pounding headaches, asking myself "How will I get through tomorrow?" But that doesn't mean I'm not truly grateful he is here. That doesn't mean that I'd give him back for a split second just to get some peace and quiet. I'm grateful for the miscarriage we had 2 years ago, and ever so grateful that we were blessed with another chance to become parents. I think I finally realized that God meant to place that baby with someone else. And we in turn, got this guy.
He's the beat of our hearts.
I know that some people try and try to conceive, to no avail. Some people suffer from multiple miscarriages. Some people welcome their children into the world, only to lose them to SIDS, illness, or other circumstances. I should sigh out of frustration a little less, and smile more. I should welcome the headaches at the end of the day, and be just be proud that I survived the chaos. I should be grateful that someone so precious has come in and turned our lives upside down and inside out, because I know that many, many people would kill to feel as exhausted as I do this very second. It's all for such a wonderful cause.
If you or someone you know has experienced such a loss, I will say a prayer for you. I can only speak for myself, but there will always be a hole in my heart that even though it cannot be filled, recognition and caring words from a fellow blogger made it that much easier to smile tonight. Thank you so much for making me aware of what this day, October 15th, means to so many people.