Monday, October 18, 2010

Dear Ryan....

Back when your brother was born, I had all kinds of time on my hands. Apart from doing laundry, changing diapers, back-to-back feedings, vomit clean-ups in aisle 4, and finding time for the occasional shower, I spent my days staring at him...blogging about him...and writing him letters. Lots and lots of letters.

I have to be honest, I don't have that kind of time these days. I have you! But, you still deserve a love letter from your Mama before you turn 1 year old next month. Even if I wake up feeling all kinds of tired and crabby tomorrow, because it's way past my bedtime! But as I said, you deserve some written words from me.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, I knew you'd always keep me guessing. After 3 different pregnancy tests, all reading strangely different results, I was happy to find out that the positive one was right on the money. I came out of the bathroom and told Brendan he was going to be a Big Brother! He acted excited but really had no idea what was to come. Then Daddy came home from work, and I told him. He was very excited also. We couldn't wait to make our family a happy foursome.

This is you, inside Mommy:

I was miserable the first few months of pregnancy with you. I don't know why they call it "morning sickness" because I was nauseous from morning til night. Once that subsided, the heartburn and reflux was next up to kill me. I couldn't eat or drink water. Convenient! Orange juice commercials alone sent me running for the TUMS. I craved peanut butter, bagels, waffles, donuts, doritos, anything mexican, and ice chips. I chewed so many ice chips that I eventually broke a tooth at 38 weeks pregnant and wound up in the dentist chair. "Are you sure you're not at the wrong dr. office, Mrs. Lotty?" Nope! Fix my tooth so I can get back to chewing ice chips please! And make it snappy, I gotta pee!

You were very active at night. I never slept because you were testing out your fancy dance moves on all of my bodily organs. I remember laying in bed, watching my pajamas move all over the place as you moved and grooved. I almost miss that feeling...

Brendan curiously watched my belly grow bigger and asked me if you were going to like cars. Judging from the way you danced inside the womb, I didn't have the heart to tell him you'd prefer all girly things, but I was wrong. You DO love cars. Actually, you love anything as long as he is playing along side you.

Finally on a chilly Sunday night, I beached myself on the couch to watch "Desperate Housewives" and winced in pain. Major pain. I knew you'd be arriving very soon. I told Daddy I didn't think he'd be going to work the next day. I was right:

There you were, one day early. You entered this world with attitude, girlfriend. Brendan was so quiet in the nursery, they had to check his pulse. You, on the other hand, could be heard for miles. And miles. You screamed for the first 4 months of your life. We're very proud of ourselves for keeping our cool and not leaving you in a basket on the church steps. Because then we wouldn't get to see this face each and every day:

Your brother wasn't so sure of you at first. Okay, so he finally just warmed up to you just in time for your 1st Birthday. I think he's figured out that you're not going anywhere, so he better just suck it up and start showing you some love. He's a true big brother- likes to tell you what to do. I'm just hoping it will stick when you turn 16. "Don't go out with that guy, Sissy, I'll tell Mama." He does love you, so, so much. You're the first thing he asks for in the morning, and the last thing he talks about at night. "I wuv Sissy, I wike to share my toys wif her." He likes to build towers out of plastic cups or paper towels and laughs hysterically when you knock them over:

And when he really, really loves you, he lets you take his wheels for a spin:

I don't want to embarrass Daddy so I'll keep this part simple. Your bond with Dada is something pretty special. He gets mad at me for being at Brendan's disposal, but I just know the second you're able to talk with that sweet little voice, he'll be tripping all over himself to wait on you. Right now his mission is to get you walking. I am not ready for that, but can't wait to see you running around the backyard with your Daddy and big brother either.

At 11 months old, you are just the craziest little thing we've ever seen. The craziest! You crawl at lightning speed. You eat everything and anything you can get your hands on. You dance to every tune. You clap your hands when Brendan smiles at you. You say "Mama" and "Dada" already. You can spot a piece of jewelry from across the room, and immediately notice if I've painted my nails. You put any object up to your ear and pretend it's a phone. You find things in drawers we didn't know we had. You love your Grandma and Deepah and shriek with delight when you see them. You're always on the go, yet you love a few seconds of cuddling from time to time. I'd love to say that you sit and read books like Brendan did when he was a baby, but sitting still is simply not your style my little friend.

I have to be honest and say that I always thought I'd have boys. I never thought I'd be the mother of a daughter. I am terrified of all sorts of things...I mean, I don't even know how to accessorize or how to properly apply make-up, so how the heck am I going to set a good example for you? I guess we'll just have to figure it out together, you and I.

Thank you for coming into our lives, and keeping us on our toes. You've certainly got spunk, and we cannot wait to see what you do with it. Those big blue eyes and magical laughter have lit up our world in ways we can't describe. Life with you, is wonderful.



Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Awwwww... what a sweet letter to Ryan. A year already?!? Holy cow, time flies by!

Happy Birthday to your cutie pie!

Peter N said...

So touching, Lyns. You're the best. Have a great autumn even with your hands full. You almost made me cry. Peter.

Kelli said...

She will treasure that letter forever, lyns. Great job!